Add style cadence AI tells (v2.8.0)

Add three style/cadence patterns from the remaining PRs: manufactured punchlines, aphorism formulas, and conversational rhetorical openers. Extend the chatbot artifact rule to catch offer-to-continue closers. Keep the additions narrow with false-positive guardrails for legitimate emphatic sentences and ordinary casual words.

Update README and AGENTS.md to reflect 33 total patterns.

AGENTS.md

@@ -15,7 +15,7 @@ A **Claude Code / OpenCode skill** implemented entirely as Markdown. The runtime
 
 `SKILL.md` and `README.md` must stay in sync. When you change behavior or content:
 
-- **Patterns:** the skill currently defines **30 numbered patterns**. If you add, remove, or renumber any, update the README pattern table, its "N Patterns Detected" heading, and every cross-reference in the same change. Keep numbering stable unless you are deliberately renumbering.
+- **Patterns:** the skill currently defines **33 numbered patterns**. If you add, remove, or renumber any, update the README pattern table, its "N Patterns Detected" heading, and every cross-reference in the same change. Keep numbering stable unless you are deliberately renumbering.
 - **Version:** `SKILL.md` frontmatter has a `version:` field and `README.md` has a "Version History" section. Bump both together.
 - **Non-obvious fixes:** if you change the prompt to handle a tricky failure mode (a repeated mis-edit, an unexpected tone shift), add a short note to the README version history explaining what was fixed and why.
 

README.md

@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ The skill also includes a final "obviously AI generated" audit pass and a second
 
 > "LLMs use statistical algorithms to guess what should come next. The result tends toward the most statistically likely result that applies to the widest variety of cases."
 
-## 30 Patterns Detected (with Before/After Examples)
+## 33 Patterns Detected (with Before/After Examples)
 
 ### Content Patterns
 
@@ -128,6 +128,9 @@ The skill also includes a final "obviously AI generated" audit pass and a second
 | 28 | **Signposting announcements** | "Let's dive in", "Here's what you need to know" | Start with the content |
 | 29 | **Fragmented headers** | "## Performance" + "Speed matters." | Let the heading do the work |
 | 30 | **Diff-anchored writing** | "This function was added to replace..." | Describe what it does, not what changed |
+| 31 | **Manufactured punchlines / staccato drama** | "It had no preference. No prior. No nostalgia." | Use varied sentence lengths and concrete claims |
+| 32 | **Aphorism formulas** | "Symmetry is the language of trust" | Replace the formula with the actual claim |
+| 33 | **Conversational rhetorical openers** | "Honestly? It depends..." | Remove the fake-candid setup |
 
 ### Communication Patterns
 
@@ -180,6 +183,7 @@ The skill also includes a final "obviously AI generated" audit pass and a second
 
 ## Version History
 
+- **2.8.0** - Added style/cadence patterns #31-33 for manufactured punchlines, aphorism formulas, and conversational rhetorical openers; expanded #20 to catch offer-to-continue chatbot closers. 33 patterns total.
 - **2.7.0** - Added pattern #30 (diff-anchored writing); made em/en dashes a hard cut rather than "overuse"; expanded #21 to cover speculative gap-filling ("maintains a low profile"). 30 patterns total.
 - **2.6.0** - Cleanup pass: consolidated the duplicated workflow sections, gated the personality guidance to content where voice is wanted, removed the model-fingerprinting subsection, and condensed the worked example. No change to the 29 patterns.
 - **2.5.1** - Added a passive-voice / subjectless-fragment rule, raising the total to 29 patterns

SKILL.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 ---
 name: humanizer
-version: 2.7.0
+version: 2.8.0
 description: |
   Remove signs of AI-generated writing from text. Use when editing or reviewing
   text to make it sound more natural and human-written. Based on Wikipedia's
@@ -338,7 +338,7 @@ Before returning the final rewrite, scan it for `—` and `–`. Any hit means t
 
 ### 20. Collaborative Communication Artifacts
 
-**Words to watch:** I hope this helps, Of course!, Certainly!, You're absolutely right!, Would you like..., let me know, here is a...
+**Words to watch:** I hope this helps, Of course!, Certainly!, You're absolutely right!, Would you like..., Want me to...?, Want me to give examples?, Should I continue?, let me know, here is a...
 
 **Problem:** Text meant as chatbot correspondence gets pasted as content.
 
@@ -483,6 +483,43 @@ Before returning the final rewrite, scan it for `—` and `–`. Any hit means t
 > This function uses a hash map for O(1) lookups, avoiding the O(n²) cost of naive iteration.
 
 
+### 31. Manufactured Punchlines and Staccato Drama
+
+**Problem:** LLMs often make every sentence land like a quotable closer, then stack short declarative fragments to manufacture drama. A single short sentence for emphasis is fine; a run of them starts to sound engineered.
+
+**Before:**
+> Then AlphaEvolve arrived. It had no preference for symmetry. No aesthetic prior. No nostalgia for human taste. The old rules were gone.
+
+**After:**
+> AlphaEvolve changed the search because it did not favor symmetry or human-looking designs. That made some of the older assumptions less useful.
+
+
+### 32. Aphorism Formulas
+
+**Words to watch:** X is the Y of Z, X becomes a trap, X is not a tool but a mirror, the language of, the currency of, the architecture of
+
+**Problem:** LLMs turn ordinary claims into reusable aphorisms that sound profound without adding precision. Replace the formula with the concrete claim it is gesturing at.
+
+**Before:**
+> Symmetry is the language of trust. Efficiency becomes a trap when teams forget the human layer.
+
+**After:**
+> Symmetric layouts often feel more predictable to users. Teams can over-optimize workflows and miss how people actually use them.
+
+
+### 33. Conversational Rhetorical Openers
+
+**Phrases to watch:** Honestly?, Look, Here's the thing, The thing is, Let's be honest, Real talk, when used as standalone hooks or fake-candid pauses before an ordinary point.
+
+**Problem:** LLMs open with a fake-candid hook to manufacture intimacy before delivering a routine claim. The tell is the theatrical pause-and-reveal: a one-word question or aside, then the "real" answer. A person being honest usually just says the thing.
+
+**Before:**
+> Is it worth the price? Honestly? It depends on how often you'll use it.
+
+**After:**
+> Whether it's worth the price depends on how often you'll use it.
+
+
 ## DETECTION GUIDANCE
 
 ### What NOT to flag (false positives)
@@ -497,6 +534,8 @@ A clean human writer can hit several of the patterns above without any AI involv
 - **Common transition words in isolation.** *Additionally*, *moreover*, *consequently* are AI-coded only when piled up. One *however* is not a tell.
 - **Curly quotes alone.** macOS, Word, Google Docs, and most CMSes auto-curl by default. Curly quotes only count when stacked with other tells.
 - **Em dashes alone.** Many editors and journalists use them often. Em dashes are evidence only when paired with formulaic sales-y rhythm.
+- **One short emphatic sentence.** Humans use clipped sentences to land a point. Flag staccato drama only when several short fragments appear in a row and inflate the tone.
+- **"Honestly" or "look" mid-sentence.** These are ordinary in casual writing. The tell is the standalone theatrical opener, not the word itself.
 - **Unsourced claims.** Most of the web is unsourced. Lack of citations doesn't prove anything.
 - **Correct, complex formatting.** Visual editors and templates produce clean output without any AI.